10. Undecided voters aren’t really undecided, they’re just starved for attention.
9. I’m more likely to meet Bigfoot than an unbiased journalist.
8. Instead of waterboarding terrorists, we should make them watch our political ads around the clock.
7. Political debates are to conversation what rap is to music.
6. Kim Kardashian’s wedding vows were more believeable than some campaign promises.
5. High level political operatives surely must sleep in coffins and only come out at night.
4. Some people would be loyal to their party affiliation even if it meant voting for Satan himself.
3. If you make one gaffe, you’re a fool; if you make a hundred, you’re funny.
2. The greatness of our Constitution is seen in the fact that it has survived over 200 years of our politicians.
1. Even in spite of 2-10 above, it’s a privilege to live in America and have the freedom to vote.